


Too Deep

by Bolontiku



Series: Too Deep [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Original Character(s), Original Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-08-13 12:51:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20174563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bolontiku/pseuds/Bolontiku
Summary: The past hurts, you can run from it or- fuck everything up beyond repair.That’s what Clint is best at and he’s sticking to his guns. She left and never came back, she’s just another mission, right? Nothing more…





	1. Chapter 1

******

Her fingers intertwined with his. 

The soft sound of her steady breath next to him. 

Cotton sheets shifting slightly. 

Fingers in his hair

Clint drifted in and out. How long had he been sleeping?

The door opened and her fingers left his. How he knew it was Lyla he wasn't sure? It wasn't her perfume, nor had she said anything. It was purely her presence, just Lyla and the peace she brought with her.

"Natasha-"

Why did she sound like that? 

"Don't! This is all your fault, what are you even doing here?"

Clint frowned, well, he should have frowned. His mind was hazy. Everything was jumbled. He had been on mission. Hadn't he? Then what was he doing back home? In bed next to her? 

That's not right. Nat came in didn't she? Cotton sheets for the med beds. He was in medical. Why? His head hurt. Everything hurt.  _ Lyla water please? Someone? Can anyone hear me?! _

"Get out of here."

_ Nat, stop, don't be mean to her. _

"I love him."

"So much that you caused this!" 

He couldn't see, fucking eyes wouldn't open, his body refusing to respond. Why? Why was she so angry? 

"Lyla, this is your fault. You should've been there, should have done more for him! But instead you abandoned him!"

"It's not my fault!"

"It is! When he needed you the most you weren't around!" 

He could hear her backing away,  _ don't, don't go, stay! Natasha back off! _

"Get the fuck outta here and don't come back. He doesn't need someone like you around. You've done enough."

"I-"

"Love isn't enough, actions back it up, prove that you're worth it and you've only proven that you're not good enough!"

_ Natasha, stop! _

Clint could hear the door open, her feet stumbling as she backed out. Was that a whimper?  _ Lyla! Lyla wait! _

Silence followed once the door clicked shut. "Hey partner," he could hear her take in a deep wavering breath, "you need to wake up, I can't do this without you. Fury is watching me like a hawk, that new Agent- Hill, she's ruthless." 

Silence and finally her slim fingers brushed across his forehead.  _ Natasha, what is going on? What happened? _

"Please wake up? It was just a fall, they said you fell, Lyla was supposed to be there. What happened? Did you send her back? The report is incomplete. She wouldn't say, Fury spoke to her, but she fucking clammed up around me. Wouldn't answer. Not that I care, she was supposed to watch your back and she didn't. I should have killed her."

Clint heard a hiss, medical machines, pumping more medicine into him. It made him groggy. He didn't like it. He needed to get up, needed to see her, talk. It wasn't… it wasn't her fault… right? God, fucking meds dragging him under into darkness.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

FUBAR.

Beyond FUBAR.

Of course this was supposed to be a simple assignment. Clint ducked as a bullet whizzed past him, the high pitched zing as it narrowly missed him making him cringe, “this woman better be damn well worth it,” he grumbled to himself. Fiance to some high hoity toity senator, who was supposedly here as well. 

Seriously, he had followed Maria out of pure boredom. He hadn't been assigned a damned mission in weeks and Hydra was nowhere to be seen. It was supposed to be an easy escort, easy, escort from the house to the meeting hall where the Senator would be making a quick speech, accept an award for being the youngest Senator in the past ten years and then done.

Clint grunted as he slid across the highly polished tile, italian from the looks of it. 

"Clint?"

"Busy Hill."

"We are pulling out, Hydra sent in backup and ours is coming too late."

There was a lull in the shooting and he sprinted across the small hall that linked into the mainroom. He cried out as the senator's security detail fired off shots at him. What was left of his security detail Clint realized, was one man who was bleeding and had situated himself in front of what looked like the senator. Not that Clint could see with the woman that was trying to cover his wounds. 

"We need to go!" Clint caught her arm, a distraught sound escaping her. "Ma'am now!" 

"Nooo!" She screamed glancing up at him.

Clint felt the world fall away as he met blue eyes, “Lyla?”

“I- I can’t leave him!!” she screamed, tears running down her face as she pressed her hands to Walters wounds, desperately attempting to stop the bleeding.

Clint clenched his jaw, kneeling down beside her and pressing two fingers to his neck, he frowned, “no pulse, we need to get you out of here.” He grabbed her arm, jerking her to her feet as he stood.

“Clint-” she choked, tugging back.

“He’s dead Lyla, we need to make sure you don’t end up the same and that last agent is bleeding out, you want to be the one to blame for that?!” he growled.

She shook her head, lip quivering, letting him move her forwards. She pulled away, wrapping an arm around the security agents waist, shouldering his weight and helping him as Clint covered, the shots ringing and echoing off the decorated walls. 

**

“NO.”

Fury raised an eyebrow.

“N.O.” Clint emphasized. He shook his head at Fury who stared at him. “No! There is past history there and its not a good idea!”

“Not asking you, you have been begging for assignment for the past few weeks, jumped in on an escort with Hill and came out with a handful of young lady. Now, you will take the lovely and distraught Miss Blake and sit with her in the safehouse till we come for you. Hill will join you.”

Clint sucked in a breath shaking his head, “request for reassignment?”

“Request denied. This is your assignment and you will see it through,” he leaned forwards eyeing Clint, “it can’t be that bad, sometimes history pops up so that we can try again.”

Natasha leaned against the wall, green eyes boring into the door opposite her, arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes slid over towards Clint who was stalking towards her. “So?”

He sighed as he came to a stop beside her, knowing that she was in the room behind that door made him twitchy. He had tried to find her, tried to contact her, but she had vanished compliments of her Agency. “My assignment is to work with Hill, protective detail until this can be wrapped up,” he ran a hand through his hair and gave her an imploring look, “get to the bottom of it fast.”

Natasha literally growled, “I will talk to him.”

“Nat, he’s not going to budge. It’s fine, I’m a grown adult, I can handle a nice little mansion with servers and the high life for a couple of weeks, but don’t let it go longer than that.”

She nodded before wrapping her arms around him, “Я люблю тебя,” she hummed pressing a kiss to his cheek, “take care of yourself Barton.”

He scoffed good naturedly returning the kiss, “you’re the one going to play super secret agent man, make sure Barnes keeps close.”

She nodded stepping back before turning on her heel and starting off. 

Clint was lucky, he knew she would get this taken care of quickly. After all it had been Nat that had been there for him after Lyla disappeared.

**

‘_ Lyla? _’

The look on his face kept replaying, she stared at her hands, blood coating them. Slender hands cupped her own and she looked up, soft blue eyes met her own. “I- I’m sorry?” she asked after watching the lithe agents lips move.

“Ma’am, you should get cleaned up, I know this is not what your used to being the fiance of a Senator, but it’ll do in a pinch. I have arranged for some clothing to be brought, but for now we have SHIELD basics.”

Lyla nodded, “it’s fine, I’ll be fine. I wasn’t always a taken care of fiance,” she smiled wryly, “sweats are fine and a shower will be great. Thank you Agent HIll.”

Maria smiled, “I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

Lyla stood, “it’s fine, you wouldn’t be the first one and I have a feeling you won’t be the last, the next couple days are gonna be just dandy. Excuse me,” nodding at her as she disappeared into the bedroom which led to the shower. 

Hill looked over as the door cracked open, Clint stepping in. “Shower,” she offered as his bright blue eyes swept the room. “She’s something else.”

He dropped into the single plush chair, “she is.”

Maria looked over at him, tilting her head to the side, “Fury mentioned you know her?”

“Used to, before she disappeared.” He groaned softly as an eyebrow raised, he wondered if she knew it was a perfect imitation of Fury? She spent too much time by his side. “We used to date. She was a Marine, the Agency she worked for was collaborating with ours that’s how we met…”

“It didn’t end well?” she asked watching as he looked away. That was all she was getting for now. 

**

Red. 

It slid off her in thin little lines, mixing with the soap and pooling at her feet, a stark contrast to the white of the shower flooring. 

A sob tore from her throat. How could this have happened? Cole, her Cole, she was an ex-Marine. She should have been able to do something, should have noticed something was wrong.

She had been too distracted by the way he tilted her head back, whispering in her ear. His lips skimming along her jaw. Her chest ached, she scrubbed frantic to get the blood off of her, his blood. 

‘_ He’s dead Lyla _…’

She dropped to the cold tile flooring, the heart wrenching pain too much to bear. Her mind desperately trying to find something, anything to distract her from the most painful ache she had experienced since…

Clint.

Where had he come from? Why was he there? Had he been there the entire time? She dropped her head back against the wall, the water hot and running clear now. 

It took her some time to realize she had been in the shower too long, dazed she carefully lifted herself from the floor and turned the water off. No one was going to take care of her, she stumbled as she stepped from the shower, the memory of Cole reassuring her he’d be there always surfacing and a wave of fresh tears surprising her. She had assured him she would protect him.

‘_ Lucky me, beautiful and deadly, my kinda woman! _’ he had laughed pulling her into his arms.

Dressing without thought she dumped herself into the bed, quiet sobs filling the darkened room. She had done it again, he had needed her and she had been too late. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while since I updated this one! And it's more of a filler chapter. DX

Lyla grinned, Cole pulling her into his side, he was whispering into her ear as they made their way into the main hall. He did that, being a senator didn’t mean he was all business, it made him laugh when he would whisper dirty words into her ear in the middle of posh events. The small circle they drew into the others palm when they were bored at dinners so they could sneak off early. The way his eyes spoke volumes when in the midst of ten or more people boasting about themselves. The way she understood what a simple touch meant. 

When the shots rang out into the air she had dove, wrapping her arms around his midsection but it was he who landed on top, pinning her down under him. She had screamed at him, to get down to stay down. Her hands tugging at him, trying to get him lower to the ground, yet he stayed firmly atop her.

“COLE!!!” her scream bounced off the walls and cleared the sleep from her mind. The dark empty room muffling the sound in seconds, her heavy breathing the only sound as she shoved at the covers. The door opened and Clint stood in the doorway gun in his hands, Lyla waved her hand, tossing her legs over the edge of the bed as she struggled to capture her breath, calm her heartbeat, struggling to keep from crying. 

God, when would she stop crying? Please, she couldn’t cry in front of him.

Grief was a monster that threatened to drag her into the darkness. It suffocated her every waking moment, the absence of the man compounded in those brief waking moments when dream and consciousness blurred together. 

He made a noise, reholstering his gun most likely. “Sorry, just a dream,” she mumbled softly, dropping her head and running her hand into her messy hair.

“Ly- Miss Blake, need anything?” he asked.

“No,” she shook her head, glancing up at him briefly before her eyes fell back to the floor in front of her. “No, I’m sorry, go back to bed.”

Clint nodded, relaxing and stepping back into the hallway where Maria stood not three feet away. Her blue eyes softening as quiet sobs could be heard. He met her gaze and let out a sigh, shaking his head as he began to make his way to the staircase. 

They had made it to the two story safe house barely a week ago. Even then Lyla had refused to look at him, much less speak two words to him. He wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or not. 

“Exactly what happened between you two?”

Clint grumbled as he dropped into a seat in the kitchen, Maria reaching into the fridge and pulling the milk out, setting it on the kitchen island and grabbing a bowl and cereal. He had dropped his head on his forearms and wondered how to explain? Even after all these years he wasn’t clear on what happened exactly. Nat always shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the best.

“One of our missions was to extract a hostage, her Agency, uhhh, OGA I believe? Run by some man, Russell I believe, real piece of work that one.” Clint shook his head running a hand over his face as he sat up, Maria placing a bowl in front of him. “She went left I went right, got caught by several men that weren’t supposed to be there and as I was trying to outrun them… I ran off the damn building.”

“Ouch, but sounds about right for you,” she smirked.

Clint nodded, “when I woke up, she had transferred out. Her boss did everything to keep her whereabouts unknown, even Nat helped me look.” He gave her a grimace, “honestly, I don’t think Nat tried very hard, but something tells me there was more to it she wasn’t telling me.”

She frowned, “I’ve heard of that agency, just in passing, Fury doesn’t like the man in charge, but he didn’t intervene?”

Clint shook his head, chewing on a spoonful of cereal. “I looked by myself, under the radar, but when people don’t want to be found and have the connections of a government funded agency,” he dropped his gaze as she nodded. “It’s old news,” he shrugged, “just a little shocking to see her after all these years.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Ahhmmm, five years?” he answered.

“People change a lot in that time.”

Clint nodded, “never would have imagined her with some senator that’s for sure, much less sitting in a safe house.”

“I wonder why Hydra was there? The senator was going to sign papers, but they weren’t anything to do with them,” she held the spoon between her lips as she thought about it, “to continue to attack, even after he was dead…”

“Think they were after her?”

“But why? Do you think she was on assignment? Maybe she wasn’t really the senators fiance but undercover?”

Clint chewed on his bottom lip, “no, she wouldn’t be crying if it was just an assignment…”

**

She curled up in the center of the bed, pulling the heavy comforter up over her, tears spilling as she laid there alone. Lyla knew she couldn’t stay there for very long, she had to get up, with a sigh, she threw the covers off and shuffled into the bathroom and washed her face. She knew she should shower, brush her teeth, comb her hair. Yet, exhaustion won out and she shuffled back into the dark room, dropping back into it.

_ “Shhh, if we don’t answer the door they’ll think we’ve eloped and leave…” he whispered, pulling the covers up over them and curling around her. _

_ She covered her mouth with her hands stifling the laughter that bubbled up as his assistant knocked on the door sounding distressed. “Mr. Walters? Sir??” _

_ “Yes, Jerry! We will be down in an hour!” she called as Cole tried to cover her mouth and grunting, dropping his head to her shoulder as he laughed. “You are so mean to that guy!” she scolded. _

_ “Thank you so much ma’am!” he called and both of them laughed as they heard his footsteps fade. _

_ “Did he call me ma’am?” she giggled as he pulled her closer crushing her to him. _

Cole’s laughter echoed in her mind as she tugged the pillow closer. SHIELD was supposed to be there, what had happened? They had been just a few feet away from the switch, exiting the house into the car, SHIELD would escort to the meeting and back, it was supposed to be easy, just another day. They should have been there, she had assured Cole that SHIELD was well trained and they would be safe.

Lyla sucked in a breath, it should have been her, she should have been the one to take the hit. The feeling of his body jerking above her, the feel of him slumping onto her- she swallowed thickly, her heart ached. If she had rolled him under her, she could have delayed him, asked him to wait a little longer, just five minutes. If she had delayed him five minutes they would have barely been making their way down and could have been in a better position to defend themselves. Lyla buried her face into the pillow, this had happened before, she should have been in position, shouldn’t have let her guard down. 

It had been so long since she had thought about it, she had closed that particular time away. A little frown settled in place as she pulled the covers back over her.

**

Five years prior.

“Take the left-”

“Why do I have to take the left? Less men to take down, think I can’t handle myself?” she asked attempting to hide the smirk as he looked at her in surprise.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then you take the left I’ll take the right.”

“Fine, you check the scaffolding..”

“Wait… you do better up high, intel shows no bodies there anyhow, I’ll go left.”

Clint smirked as she moved forwards, taking the hallway, really this was going to be easy. “How bout a movie later?”

“Focus,” came Nat’s voice.

There was silence for a moment as he climbed out the window and up the scaffolding, climbing higher, grumbling about how he was gonna have sore muscles later. “Which movie?” came her soft voice. 

He chuckled to himself, “the scary one.”

“I hate those.”

“I know, you crawl under me though and that’s the best part.”

“Can you two focus?”

Clint laughed, “we’re fine Nat.”

As he pulled himself up and onto the roof, he frowned, “who got intel?”

“I did,” Nat answered.

“Thought there wasn’t supposed to be anyone up here?”

“There isn’t.”

“Intel is wrong Nat,” he said as he drew his gun, moving swiftly and silently as he heard voices ahead. He kept low and made a face when he heard shouting, they had spotted him. He could hear both Nat and Lyla over the comms, demanding to know what was going on.

“Lyla, get to the mark, get him out, I will get to Clint….”

“Nat!”

“DO YOUR DAMNED JOB!” Nat demanded already breaking through the door that led to the roof. She watched as Clint disappeared over the edge of the building, a scream of terror and rage leaving her, shots ringing through the air, bodies hitting the ground. She felt the burn of a bullet skimming her upper arm as she moved forwards.

**

‘ _ When he needed you the most you weren’t around! _ ’ The words reverberated in her head as she bolted upright. A dream, just a dream. Swallowing she looked at the clock, three in the afternoon, dragging a hand through her hair she slid off the bed, stretching lazily before glancing at herself.

She looked like a mess. 

Clint looked up as Lyla stepped into the kitchen.

“Something smells good,” she said softly, stopping just by the entrance.

Clint studied her, dark circles under her slightly swollen eyes, hair pulled back yet still messy. She had pulled on some clothes, it was loose fitting but he tried not to smile at the stripes on plaid. “Made fish tacos, remembered they were your favorite,” he answered, looking down at the plate in front of him. Looking up he caught the way she perked up slightly, “c’mon, sit, take this plate.”

“Fresh pico de gallo too?” she asked moving into the vacated seat as he made his way to the stove.

He nodded with a grin, “of course! HILL!!! GET DOWN HERE! I WILL EAT IT ALL!!”

Lyla grinned around a mouthful of taco as the woman walked in, swatting Clint on the back of his head. “I swear if you do I will end you while you sleep.”

Clint winked as he handed her a plate, “I would say I’m scared, but-” he shrugged as she took a seat across from Lyla. It was so hard to keep from staring, he wanted to stare. He knew she had been worried, she had stayed away from him all these years, hiding. Had she been hiding from him? Or what happened? The mission back then had not been a failure, Lyla had been able to extract the man, even if he had been injured. It had taken a month to get back on his feet and Nat had been on the receiving end of his demanding to know about her.

His mind continued to work as he sat down, there was so much to ask. How had she met the senator? What had she been doing till then? Was she happy? Had she really loved the man?

A sniffle caught his attention.

Hill stopped mid-chew.

Lyla wasn’t sure where it was coming from, she had been sure he had cried everything out. Yet, sitting here, three fish tacos downed, a fourth in her mouth she felt a big fat tear roll down her cheek. 

Neither Clint nor Maria said a word, both sitting quietly as she continued eating, silent tears falling. Clint nudged Maria stuffing tco into his mouth silently urging her to do the same. He knew her, if she wanted to talk she would, as it were he also knew the sudden onslaught of fresh tears was just as unexpected for her as she continued stuffing the remainder of her taco into her mouth. Lyla hadn’t changed much it seemed, she was still stubborn and bullheaded. It comforted him to know that, though it gave him pause, she had loved the late senator otherwise she would never have reacted that way. He wondered if she knew about what he had been involved with? If she could give them some insight as to why they had been attacked? Why they had been targeted. As it were, Fury and SHIELD were still investigating and were due to call in the evening to inform them of anything new.

“Jesus Clint if I knew you could cook I would have married you by now. Even the rice was good!”

Both Lyla and Clint stared at Maria, surprised when she ended the silence. Clint grinned wolfishly, “well, I can’t go advertising all of my good traits.”

“Yeah sure right, beating the women back with a stick aren’t ya?” she asked dryly.

Lyla snickered, the small sound turning into full on laughter, filling the kitchen as the two stared at her.


End file.
